I think this is going to be an awesome story to tell. How many people get to see Israel?
I think you should at some point map out every place (or most of the places) you stopped at. Since people aren't really familiar with your placement in the story. Maybe even doing a map every now and then just as a "you are here" sense of placement.
The pictures will add to the story. You can say something is beautiful, but actually showing me that, made all the difference in the world. That first picture looks like it came out of a calendar it's so beautiful.
Other than that, I can't wait to read the rest of it. It might make me jump on a plane and go there. YAY!
Stephen: Your blog looks great. Good job. The story is interesting. It's linear, which is fine, and you've done a nice job segmenting it (a logical job: by day). Fine to end at day #4, but I wonder if you can come up with some way of concluding it - reflecting on the trip/story so far, on how it looked even though it was only part way through? There's such a tremendous sense and emphasis on history in what you've told. Did it seem that way to you? Also, I suggest link back to the map at the end. Try to come up with a few more placemarks on the map (10 total). A great job overall!
2 comments:
Steve,
I think this is going to be an awesome story to tell. How many people get to see Israel?
I think you should at some point map out every place (or most of the places) you stopped at. Since people aren't really familiar with your placement in the story. Maybe even doing a map every now and then just as a "you are here" sense of placement.
The pictures will add to the story. You can say something is beautiful, but actually showing me that, made all the difference in the world. That first picture looks like it came out of a calendar it's so beautiful.
Other than that, I can't wait to read the rest of it. It might make me jump on a plane and go there. YAY!
Stephen: Your blog looks great. Good job. The story is interesting. It's linear, which is fine, and you've done a nice job segmenting it (a logical job: by day). Fine to end at day #4, but I wonder if you can come up with some way of concluding it - reflecting on the trip/story so far, on how it looked even though it was only part way through? There's such a tremendous sense and emphasis on history in what you've told. Did it seem that way to you? Also, I suggest link back to the map at the end. Try to come up with a few more placemarks on the map (10 total). A great job overall!
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